Author: Kat

When people comment on Parker ALWAYS smelling incredible I do try to refrain from telling them he has baths like other kids eat meals… maybe 3 a day.

And he even thinks of his mummy and lays the bath mat down. Good boy!

Whenever he goes missing, I don’t open the front door anymore and check for the little kid with Down syndrome sprinting down the street, I just run up to the bathtub and see my little boy having a relax and living his best life.

What can I say, he knows what he wants out of life and makes it happen. No permission needed and he knows he needs the down time to regulate, so off he goes. Floating and relaxing while staring off into the trees and at the buildings outside the window is a must.

I sometimes think we should all be a little more like Parker.

Bath tips

If your child really hates the bath why not consider making it more fun!

• Blow bubbles in the bathtub!
• Add colour to the bath
• Make bath time “art time” with bath crayons and paints etc
• Bathe their fave doll/teddy at the same time!
• Don’t forget to pop in some lavender to help calm

You could also consider changing WHEN you have bath time. If bath time normally takes place in the evening, before bed, your child might be more willing to have a daytime bath. Try a morning or afternoon splash even.

Cheap, fun sensory activities that Parker loves and really wanted to share with his friends.

1. Mix food colouring with water and freeze in an ice tray- tip a few into their bathwater.

2. A baby’s favourite- put them on a large blanket and hand them a brick or two of weetbix. You’ll love the facial expressions you’ll get while they crush intently.

3.Drop glow sticks into their bath water and dim the lights!

4. Drop small bright colourful objects into a few matching bottles and screw the caps back on. These remain a favourite for years.

5. Buy 4 packs of generic brand jelly (approx $2), drop some small bath toys in an empty ice cream tub, fill with jelly liquid and let set. Release the jelly from its bowl in an empty bathtub, and add one child in bathers to help free the toys! Easy cleanup and great for children who normally hate baths.

6. Add bubble bath to your wading pool.

7. Put shaving cream in a sandwich ziploc bag with a dash of food colouring in each corner and hand to your child to blend the colours.

8. Put corn kernels/popcorn/sugar/coffee/shredded coconut in empty Kinder Surprise cylinders.

9. Collect small scraps of fabric and keep in a little cardboard box. Tip in front of baby during tummy time. No fabric? Cut up one or two of those old Wondersuits you keep meaning to donate. Add some hair ties.

10. Lay teething rings on the bottom of a shallow storage box and cover with pasta. Let them dig for their reward.

11. Refill an empty water bottle, add glitter, and hand to your baby. To keep forever, seal lid with a glue gun.

12. Rustle up all the tissue paper from your baby shower gifts, and put into a leftover baby shower bag. Put your baby’s hand inside to get him started off. He’ll figure out what to do.

13. Buy an assortment of super soft bath sponges at a $2 store, and lay them on the ground- place baby on them during tummy time and watch them kick and wriggle to dislodge each one!

14. Go for a walk in the backyard and touch your baby’s hands on 15 different surfaces. Try it at your local park. Take the challenge!

15. Hook a slinky in front of your baby. They teach themselves to ‘boing’ it like magic!

16. Mix together 2 cups cornflour and 1 cup water- it’s ‘Magic Slime! Squeeze it and it’s hard, let go and it runs through baby’s fingers.

We thought you might like to see a few sneaky pictures of Parker at his special sixth birthday.

He had a fab day and we need to send a HUGE shoutout to Print and party and Lovely occasions for helping make his day run so smoothly.

Kat shared, “Parker had such an incredible birthday party. I was entirely blown away with how it was themed and styled by Print & Party and Lovely Occasions, who both offered their services as a 6th birthday gift to Parker.

He loved hanging out with his friends, and especially having his best friend from daycare over for a play.

It’s so strange right now to think I’m the mother of a 6yr old and a 13 yr old. I wouldn’t have believed it when they were tiny, but I am so much better as a human because of them both.”

Beautiful styling by Print and party and Lovely occasions (lots of brass animals. Parker LOVES animals!  and stunning greenery to make the day special)

More beautiful styling by Print and party and Lovely occasions

So many comfy cushions –  styling by Print and party and Lovely occasions

Parker loving blowing out the candles on his Mushroom cake

The gorgeous birthday boy blowing out the candles on his cake.

Parker’s super cute Mushroom cake

Cheeky little nap

Having a blast opening presents with his mates

Parker cutting his mushroom cake with mummy

Living his best life!

Loved having a special day with all his friends x

Hey! In case you are wondering. I’m Parker’s friend, Tracy. I republish Parker’s cool stuff when his mum, Kat, is super busy! Don’t forget to follow them on social media for regular updates x

Now this is perfect for mums not intent on PH balancing their kid’s little butts using nasty chemicals.

For those mums (and dads!) who are just happy to clean it with a bit of natural product, save money, and move on with their day.

This is why people are freaking out about paying $7 for bloody baby wipes.. this is not rocket science people!

Sorry Huggies, you suck for selling those pure wipes. Remind me what pure means again.. cos mine are pure water, pure lavender, pure tea tree and pure coconut oil!

I am the least craftiest mum on the PLANET and I can do this. So you can too!

What you need to do:

• Paper towel
• Plastic container
• Water
• Coconut oil
• Lavender
• Tea tree (you could add rosemary or even basil)

Grab your paper towel (we use Viva) and pop it into a container, pour the water and oils in the container over the top of the paper towel and watch it soak up all the goodness.

Give it a shake leave the lid on and use them as needed. Voila!

In 2013 I waddled, 9 months pregnant and in labour, into the local maternity hospital ready to soon meet my little boy.

I was sore, tired and a little overwhelmed, but not fearful. This was my second child and I’d been here before. I was looking forward to starting the next phase of my life, and becoming a mother of two when I brought him home from hospital in a few hours.

Those plans changed rapidly when my newborn son Parker was diagnosed at birth; both with Down syndrome, a heart condition called a PDA, and a secondary condition of neonatal pulmonary hypertension (pressure on his tiny newborn lungs).

Thankfully, his heart resolved itself very quickly and he was cleared of any other major health issues beyond a pesky extra chromosome. I took my little boy home at 2 months old, where he would stay on oxygen for 16 months while I fretted, planned and re-engineered our lives while I worried for the future.

After having him, nurses and social workers gave advice like,

‘Just go home and enjoy your baby.’

‘Most children with this condition will be just fine, and your family will adjust.’

But when it comes to the practical stuff, I often found their advice sorely lacking. There was SO much to do. As a single mother who already had a family, I was now unable to return to work when expected.

And I received a crash course into the hospital system, soon realising the real world still awaited me, unchanging, post diagnosis.

I returned home from hospital for the first time, leaving my son behind in a hospital crib… only to burst into tears when I pulled up, realising my entire home looked abandoned.

With no one there to empty the trash, my kitchen smelt awful.

Weeds grew across my lawn, the yard neglected for over a month. A window had been left open in the nursery to air it out before he came home, the rain ruining the curtain and his new stuffed toys perched on a shelf below the window.

I slowly cleaned up my home, threw the toys in the trash, and replaced them with a beautiful little bear I had been gifted from the local Down syndrome association of Queensland. I arranged for someone to mow the lawns, and asked a friend to help me clean and air out my home.

Then I sat down with a pen and paper, and for the first time I took a deep breath and made an action plan. I was ready to start taking control back, as best I could with the tools I had. I wish I had been aware of the NAB Life Moment’s hub back then, to help me deal with my finances better in the situation I was in. Although, I think I did an alright job creating my own checklist!

Here’s some of the most important actions I took over the next few months.

I immediately connected with the organisation who supports my child’s diagnosis. It can be painful to face the reality of your new world, but these organisations exist for a reason. They know things you don’t, about what’s in the future for you. By proactively connecting to this community, I had a default point of contact to reach out to.

I did a full evaluation of my current finances. I tallied up my debts, my weekly income (factoring in my paid parental leave.) This allowed me to clearly see I could breathe comfortably and cover our basics for 8 months until my maternity leave ran out, and allowed me the space to move on and address the bigger stuff. Planning for the unexpected is something not a lot of people do until they fall into financial hardship. Having a checklist in place will help you with managing expenses when the unexpected life events happen.

I reached out to find others like me. I did a Google search, found blogs, read the comments sections, connected to the authors and communities on Facebook and Instagram, joined mailing lists, and found the best Facebook groups on the planet. This changed my entire playing field – now I had a community to support, and be supported by. I was initially anxious and worried about what was out there waiting for me, but grateful I reached out as quickly as I did.

I made an appointment with my bank manager for a financial health check. Josh did a full accounts and products review, consolidated my car loan and moved me to a more favourable rate, then switched my credit cards to reduce the interest rate. I was given the advice to attend in person, and I’m so glad I did- it was an almost 3-hour appointment, but when I left there was nothing more to be done. It was a huge relief and weight off my mind, knowing that my finances were in the best shape they could be. He went on to help me again twice more annually.

I found out what I was eligible for. I searched through government websites, blogs and Facebook groups, as well as asking hospital social workers and tapping into parent support groups. Without these parent support groups, I never would have realised I WAS eligible for tax free government assistance designed to support carers- I’d been told previously I wouldn’t be.

I had a conversation with my employer. I stayed in touch and made sure my details were up to date, and I stayed in contact frequently around my return date to work.

For the first time in my life, I made my personal mental health and mindset a number one priority. With the guidance of an incredibly skilled counsellor called Jenny, I developed daily routines and practices to lessen my anxiety and help support my emotions. I used an app called Headspace for quick guided meditations and discovered natural herbal remedies at the chemist which calmed and supported me emotionally. I diffused lovely smelling essential oils around my home to help anchor those special, stress-free moments that would happen as a family, then diffuse them again later as an instant pick-me-up.

I reviewed my insurance policies. I rang the company and discovered I hadn’t updated my car insurance since I moved, and this meant I was saving hundreds a year on the new policy.

I took my power back. Having a child diagnosed with a medical condition or illness is hands down one of the most traumatic things that could happen in a parents’ lifetime. Making lists and slowly learning people out there COULD help and support my family, if I just knew who and where to ask, was an incredibly empowering experience.

Having my checklist and planning the next steps gave me the peace of mind I needed.

And that social worker was right.

I went home, and I enjoyed my baby.

This article is a NAB paid promotion and was written in collaboration with NAB.

I’m writing about my son Parker, who has Down syndrome and changed my life. I’m writing about why you’ll only ever see what you look for. And finally, I’m writing to define what I mean when I say so often that my life changed.

The only thing that changed was me.

So, of course Parker changed my life. That’s a bona fide understatement. He came charging in that day in the delivery room, turned me on my head and flipped out my pockets. He laid bare every one of my emotions, forcing me to carefully evaluate and analyse myself. He didn’t do any of this personally – he was an infant. And this is where people misunderstand the rainbows and unicorns of legend.

Parker’s only contribution to my state of mind was simply being born a little different. The day I birthed a child with Down syndrome, I was plucked from my role as a typical mother and firmly set in a new type of life.

The period of adjustment was a raw, vulnerable experience. And it was nothing to do with the child in front of me.

My child was doing the same things all the other newborns were doing – sleeping, feeding, smiling, burping. And every moment as I parented him through his early months, MY brain was reaching in the future – evaluating, searching, looking for the meaning, the rhyme and the light at the end of the tunnel to prove to me my life would return to some semblance of normal.

I eventually found what I was looking for – I planned out a new kind of future for my child. I planned a future where he would be in mainstream school, he would be accepted, and loved, and live a life as close to typical and standard as I could manage.

Of course, time brings perspective. Goals may start as dreams, and turn into plans – but it doesn’t mean factors won’t prevail. Mainstream school may not be the best thing for my son. Other challenges will come up too, forcing my hand and suddenly those goals won’t be as important as first thought.

My son’s life can’t be ‘on track’ for anything right now beyond Maslow’s hierarchy, as I aim to keep my childrens’ needs met. They simply need the basics ticked off – happiness, fulfilling experiences, striving for good health as best I can while keeping their home life secure, and being a strong anchor to return to when feeling vulnerable. Parker will find his feet in the world, just as his sister will and just as I did before them.

Coming to the realisation that I don’t need to know where he’ll go to high school, or how much therapy he’ll need in ten years, was rewarding in itself. It doesn’t mean I’ll stop dreaming and creating joy in our lives. It doesn’t mean I’ll stop working hard on giving him the best opportunities possible. It means I’ve accepted the outcomes don’t matter right now.

And until they do matter, we’ll keep just having fun adventures, Parker and I. On his Facebook page this year, we live streamed the first moment he asked for more tickles. He learned the name of the workmen on his daily walk to school. He accidentally killed an unhatched chick within its shell with his particularly exuberant brand of love and spent that evening loving on an avocado to prove to me he has ‘gentle hands’. He went to hospital for dehydration during a food strike and he smugly pulled out an NG tube at 2am, then proudly woke me to show me his accomplishment. He learned to put pants on and is still learning how to choose clothing colours that aren’t radiant in their flowery or hypercolour glory.

He will never stop having adventures, branded with a little bit extra of… well, everything.

But my role in his world has been redefined from those early days when all I wanted was my life ‘back on track’ and staying in a zone where I felt comfortable and safe. I wanted to know my future, what it would look like. My role has changed significantly, I now realise. Because back then, I never knew where I was going in the first place. I just knew I wanted what I felt everyone else had – or rather, I wanted to emulate their highlights reel.

The truth is, I don’t know where my life is taking me. I will never know. The loss of our beautiful Nicky  forced my hand in accepting my child’s genetic diagnosis would never have stayed the biggest thing in my world – because life changes in an instant. We loved Nicholas for the joy we watched him bring, and because he was a soul who deserved and needed to be loved, never simply because he was ‘in the community’. Nicholas was a light, a pure personality and his mother reflected his light perfectly through a pen and a camera. I am eternally grateful for the memories she helped him leave behind.

So I’ll keep encouraging my son to be himself, find his voice, find his feet and smooth the way for his personality to shine. I’ll look for the good in people, as I watch Annie consistently do so well. I practice this daily with my son, and his instant acceptance and love teaches me to look harder to find the purest qualities in others, while moderating my relationships with solid boundaries. I learn this to teach the skill to him in turn.

Giving into this glorious, messy, wild, loving, busy, sleepless, joyful ride of humanity right NOW means remembering the options waiting around the corner never need to be set in stone. In fact, they can’t be. They will remain limitless if I choose them to be in this moment. And that in itself brings its own quiet peace.

We need to always remember humanity is inherently good. People are good. Intent is everything. Don’t ignore the bad, speak up loudly – but know it’s not the norm. Look for the good in the world. Show them when you hurt, when you don’t understand and when they’ve hurt you or yours in turn. Let them see you as a person, and what you’re about. How you can love passionately, and hard, and stay strong on what’s important to you. Show the world you have flaws, and you get scared, and remind them it’s normal to worry about your future and that of your children – while knowing that your worry and fear will never define you.

Nothing has changed in the world that hasn’t generally already happened to someone before us. Our chapter is new – but the story is much the same. So reach out, and find those stories to help you as you write your own.

You can trust the world. It’s okay to slow down, plan for the now, and let the rest work itself out. It’s okay to take a deep breath. Trust what’s coming will always march closer, regardless of your plans. The future inevitably will become the now. And this, too, shall pass.

You won’t change. You’ll just grow into yourself. Because this was you all along.

1. Mix food colouring with water and freeze in an ice tray- tip a few into their bathwater.

2. A baby’s favourite- put them on a large blanket and hand them a brick or two of weetbix. You’ll love the facial expressions you’ll get while they crush intently.

3.Drop glow sticks into their bath water and dim the lights!

4. Drop small bright colourful objects into a few matching bottles and screw the caps back on. These remain a favourite for years.

5. Buy 4 packs of generic brand jelly (approx $2), drop some small bath toys in an empty ice cream tub, fill with jelly liquid and let set. Release the jelly from its bowl in an empty bathtub, and add one child in bathers to help free the toys! Easy cleanup and great for children who normally hate baths.

6. Add bubble bath to your wading pool.

7. Put shaving cream in a sandwich ziplock bag with a dash of food colouring in each corner and hand to your child to blend the colours.

8. Put corn kernels/popcorn/sugar/coffee/shredded coconut in empty Kinder Surprise cylinders.

9. Collect small scraps of fabric and keep in a little cardboard box. Tip in front of baby during tummy time. No fabric? Cut up one or two of those old Wondersuits you keep meaning to donate. Add some hair ties.

10. Lay teething rings on the bottom of a shallow storage box and cover with pasta. Let them dig for their reward.

11. Refill an empty water bottle, add glitter, and hand to your baby. To keep forever, seal lid with a glue gun.

12. Rustle up all the tissue paper from your baby shower gifts, and put into a leftover baby shower bag. Put your baby’s hand inside to get him started off. He’ll figure out what to do.

13. Buy an assortment of super soft bath sponges at a $2 store, and lay them on the ground- place baby on them during tummy time and watch them kick and wriggle to dislodge each one!

14. Go for a walk in the backyard and touch your baby’s hands on all the different surfaces. Try it at your local park. Their face is the BEST!

15. Hook a slinky in front of your baby. They teach themselves to ‘boing’ it like magic!

16. Mix together 2 cups cornflour and 1 cup water- it’s ‘Magic Slime! Squeeze it and it’s hard, let go and it runs through baby’s fingers.

Have fun helping to expand your baby’s world!

Dear Mommy,

Oh, how I wish I could sit in front of you right now.

I would squeeze you tight and take ahold of your hands. I can see you so clearly and I’m weeping with you.

Not because I’m sad for you, but because I know the incredible truth about your life. It’s only just begun. In the coming hours and days, you might be stunned, in pain, or completely numb from what you’ve just heard. You might cry, you might sob, you might feel like your heart has shattered. You might try to look into your child’s future and see only a blurry haze. You might be terrified, you might be angry, and you might even feel like your life is over.

But it’s only just begun. I can promise you that your child has a grand purpose. They will light up what can be a very dark world, and make you happy when all else makes you sad. Your child has an incredible, individual personality with every ability to be smart and stubborn, sweet and hysterically funny, mischievous and dramatic. Your child has the potential to go to college, marry the person of their dreams, and grow others in mighty ways.

As deeply as you’re wounded in this moment, your pain will be forgotten and you’ll wonder why you ever felt it in the first place. You will love your baby more than you thought humanly possible, and that love you questioned could exist will be the same love to rebuild your broken heart. And I can promise you – your child will only make your life better.

And it’s only just begun. It’s only normal to grieve and cry and hurt. But then forget what others might think, forget whatever you might have heard, and know that your child is absolutely perfect. I can tell you these things because I once sat exactly where you are. I heard the negative, but no one told me the positive. No one told me how much brighter my days would be with my daughter in it. No one told me that once she was in my arms, I would smile bigger, laugh louder, love better, and see true beauty in the faces around me. No one told me that my compassion for others would expand my world and reach deeper, higher, broader. No one told me that my friends and family would be changed or that my little girl would bring so much joy into their lives.

I wish someone would have told me that my dreams weren’t over, but those dreams were only going to be exponentially bigger, happier, and more fulfilled. I wish someone would have told me truth about my life. It had only just begun. So as you process the words of the doctors and specialists, my greatest hope is that you can know the truth and feel that love even now as you child grows within you. Your child’s life has already changed the world. And it’s only just begun.

-Courtney Baker.

See more of her story here;